Types of Abuse

Generally speaking, abuse is any behavior that results in the mistreatment of another.  There are seven major kinds of abuse: physical, emotional/verbal, social, sexual, spiritual, financial, and systems.  To describe what is meant by “mistreatment of another”, some common examples of abuse are listed below:

Physical Abuse

• Destroying your belongings.
• Throwing objects at you.
• Touching you in ways that hurt or scare you.
• Twisting your arm, slapping, or biting you.
• Pushing or shoving you.
• Depriving you of food, shelter, money or clothing.
• Threatening you with weapons.
• Hitting, punching, or kicking you.
• Strangling or throwing you.
• Abusing you to the point you need medical treatment.
• Breaking your bones and/or causing internal injuries.
• Causing a miscarriage or injuries that require a therapeutic abortion.
• Denying you medical treatment.
• Inflicting permanent disabling and/or disfiguring injuries.

Emotional/Verbal Abuse

• Taunting you in the name of “fun”.
• Ignoring you and/or your feelings.
• Insulting you repeatedly.
• Yelling at you.
• Telling you that you will fail.
• Blaming you for her/his faults.
• Threatening you with violence or retaliation.
• Threatening to hurt your pets.
• Threatening to abuse the children and/or get custody of them.
• Telling you that you must stay because you can’t make it alone.
• Accusing you of being violent when you protect yourself in any way.
• Labeling you as crazy, stupid, bitch, bastard, ugly, or a whore.
• Blaming you for things that go wrong.
• Holding back approval as a form of punishment.

Social Abuse

• Insulting you publicly.
• Controlling your use of money.
• Putting down your abilities.
• Checking up on you.
• Taping conversations.
• Following you from place to place – stalking
• Demanding all of your attention and resenting any focus on others.
• Making a public display of destroying property.
• Threatening to hurt your extended family and friends.
• Isolating you from friends or activities.
• Spending paychecks without meeting obligations.

Sexual Abuse

• Talking about you or others as sexual objects.
• Forcing you to have sex, including sex after a beating.
• Criticizing your sexual performance.
• Withholding affection to punish you.
• Accusing you of looking at, talking to, or having sex with another.
• Forcing you to engage in sexual activities that are uncomfortable for you.
• Inflicting harm or mutilation of your genitals.
• Strangling or slapping you during sex.

Spiritual Abuse

• Discounting your sense of right and wrong.
• Denying, minimizing, or ridiculing your spiritual beliefs.
• Denying your value as a person with legitimate wants and likes.
• Questioning your motives for just about everything.
• Questioning your sense of reality.
• Refusing to allow you access to worship communities or support groups.

Adapted from:  It’s Not Okay Anymore, Greg Enns and Jan Black, Hannibal House, Inc., 1996.

Systems Abuse

·         Violating restraining and protection orders.

·         Lying to officials – including Judges – concerning legal information (property value, income, insurance and retirement benefits, etc.).

·         Counter suing for divorce and/or custody after victim has applied.

·         Filing a restraining or protection order on the victim before the victim files against the abuser.

·         Making false statements and/or coercing children into false statements explaining the types and amount of abuse in attempt to minimize the impact.

Financial Abuse

·         Withholding, diverting, or embezzling funds.

·         Controlling funds so victim does not have access to purchasing basic needs.

·         Denying the victim the right to seek and/or maintain employment.

·         Taking victim’s personal money with or without permission.

·         Excluding the victim from making financial decisions.